Sunday, July 31, 2011

Mid-Year Resolutions

I decided it was time for me to come up with some mid-year resolutions. I need to feel like I am making progress. Maybe if I write my goals down here on my blog I will remember to work toward them.

1. Run a 5K
2. Take Bikram yoga classes
3. Have a dinner party
4. Sleep more, eat less and cook well

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Day Off.....

I am taking the day off tomorrow to spend with the boys......its so exciting. Where am I going you ask??

Maybe relaxing here?
or maybe here?

Nope, I will be here in hot, stinky, ride hell. Oh well, should be fun to spend the day with the boys.

Saturday, July 23, 2011


I am so in love with this kitchen, the dark wood floors, the white cabinets and table, but the fireplace, oh that fireplace. The large wood burning fireplace makes the room look so cozy. I am dreaming of rolling out fresh pizza dough with the boys and cooking them on that fire. How nice would it be to have your own wood burning pizza oven right in your kitchen? I can see myself in this kitchen drinking coffee or a glass of wine with friends. What a cozy, warm place to host a dinner party.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Summer Fun


I forgot how important it is to cut loose sometimes and just have a completely adult evening. We went out on Saturday to dinner and a concert, which is something I haven’t done in quite awhile. Usually I feel too guilty to go out. Sending my children to my parents for a sleepover is harder on me then the boys. They were excited to go, they had fun and I do believe it is important they spend time with my parents. So why all the guilt? I don’t know, but I do know it is not necessary.

Oh the food we ate, we had dinner at The Western Door at the casino. The wine, the clam’s casino, the filet topped with crabmeat and asparagus and the lobster macaroni and cheese, YUM! Everything was excellent and prepared very well but the best part of the evening was just enjoying the company and the adult conversation. I forget how I need that sometimes.

I also forgot how much I enjoy live music. We saw Melissa Etheridge. I have never seen her live before and was kind of surprised how good she sounded. Not only can she sing, but damn that girl can play a mean guitar. She even moved me to tears once. I always admire woman who process the talents I so wish I had.

Sorry the pictures are so bad, I took them with my phone.

Thursday, July 14, 2011


After rereading my previous post, I realize I may have sounded unhappy with were I am today in my life. I am not. I have been blessed in so many ways. I have someone in my life that treats me with the love and respect I deserve, someone who challenges me and spoils me at the same time and for that I am grateful.

What I was trying to say in my previous post is that when you end a relationship that you are in for half of your life, you are left with so many different stages of emotions. In the beginning the grief and sadness mixed with feelings of anger and betrayal rule your emotions and you go into survival mode. As time passes the anger subsides because you can’t live that way for your children’s sake or your own sanity. So as this time passed and began to heal me, as time usually does, one of the things that surprised me the most is the grief I felt for the future my children and I had lost. The plans and the vision that you had for your life and your family are changed in an instant.

As I went through this process, at first, I just stopped thinking I would even have a future. Then as I was getting more vested in my current relationship, I thought I could just fit that person into the old vision of my future. So what I was trying to explain in my previous post is that I now realize this is not possible or even fair to anyone. I can have new goals and dreams. I can have a family and a future that looks completely different. I will not grow old with person that I had thought I would. I may not be able to grow old in the home and the neighborhood that I adore. I will probably have to make a lot of decisions on my own and trust I am doing the best I can. However, I will still travel and hold my grandchildren and whether I do it alone or with someone new, I finally feel like I can be hopeful again.


Monday, July 11, 2011


My family is broken, having been torn apart two years ago by things that were out of my control even though I do take responsibility for my part in the breakdown of our relationship.

I often ask myself was this the best thing for us? For the children? ....Definitely not. For our families?.... definitely not. For my ex?..... I guess so. For me?.... I haven’t decided. I can honestly say I wasn’t happy with our relationship but I was content which I now know isn’t a good thing.

The hardest thing is finding myself in all of this. After 20 years together, you plan on growing old with that someone. All your dreams and hopes for the future are wrapped in that person. You plan on retiring together, living in your home together and traveling together but most importantly you plan on being grandparents together. When you break up all the plans for the future die along with the relationship. This is such a hard place to be mentally. You have to give up your dreams for your future.

I don’t honestly know if I will ever build a new life with someone else but I do know for sure that person will never love or enjoy my children as much as I do and that is a hard thing to fathom.

Any new relationship I have will always be different then what I have known since I was 20 years old. We aren’t building a life together we are joining two lives and families that are already established. I am slowly realizing that I can never get back the life I had. I cannot just insert someone new, no matter how happy they make me. The life I built with my Ex was one of a kind, which is both a blessing and a curse.

How does my new life look? How do I change my dreams to fit my new reality? How do I become the strong independent, single Mother I want to be? Am I capable of maintaining my home alone? Am I capable of supporting my children alone? Am I capable of being a “Part Time Lover”? Most importantly am I capable of building and dreaming of a future that is so different?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

These Cake Pop's Rock

These cake pops over are Bakerella are so damn cute I can't stand it. I don't think I have actually ever had a cake pop but I think I need to try one to see if they are actually any good.

I so wish I had these for my student's when I taught Earth science. They would have loved me!

Perfect for a summer party.

I need to make these for my Sister's next birthday. She is a total Diet Coke addict but look at the details this could not have been easy to make.

For my three gamers!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fun and Tasty

I had such a great 4th of July weekend. It is was nice just spending time relaxing, swimming, enjoying the weather and most importantly just being with friends and family. I was in charge of desserts this year and I wanted to make something festive. I usually make the typical flag cake with strawberries and blueberries so I wanted to try something different.

This flag cake came out pretty tasty and at least it looked like a flag when we cut into it but I mixed up the red and white layers. Any good patriotic American knows the red stripes should be on the bottom. I accidentally made three white layers and two red so I didn't have a choice but to switch them but at least it looks like a flag.
These S'mores bars were the hit of the party. I made these with chocolate chips instead of Hershey bars because I didn't have any when I decided to make these. If you like them really sweet then Hershey bars would be better but I really liked them with semi-sweet chocolate chips. Either way eating these makes you feel like a kid again.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Today I am Thinking....

I'm pretty sure I got this picture from here.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Beach Day

Ok.... well maybe more like lake day.


Awe... the young at heart

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Loving....Bon Iver

Friday, July 1, 2011

Red, White and Blue...

Fun party straws that go perfect with some lovely bottled soda.

OMG, this is the perfect 4th of July cake, I so hope I have the time and patience to make this cake this weekend.

How cute is this clutch and its only $35.00, perfect for summer.