Monday Reflections

Life's Little Craziness

Life has been very crazy lately.  I guess I suffer from what most people suffer from, too much to do and to little time to do it.  My son broke his wrist right after he made the lacrosse team (the team bet him he wouldn't get a pink cast, he did) so he is out for the whole season.  I knew after that diagnosis Five Guys was definitely needed for both of us to deal with the blow.  I will have one sad kid watching from the bench. 

 

Lately I have been wondering if I really don't have enough time in the day or if I am just so disorganized that I make things so much harder for myself than they need to be.  I get so easily distracted.  I think of all these not so fun things I need to get done but then I got lost on Pinterest or Instagram instead.  However, I know if I was more organized I could really cut down the amount of time I waste on daily living/chores.  I was reading this article and I decided to pick just a few helpful tips to slowly incorporate into my life.

 

•   Plan meals for the week on Sundays.
•   Organize my scarves, I can never find the one I need when I'm walking out the door.
•   Pick out my outfit the night before.
•   Enter appointments into my phone calendar.
•   Put mail in it's proper place or discard everyday, I need to prevent the mail build up.

 

The weather is getting a little, emphasis on a little, better here.  Since I'm no longer blinded by my hat and scarf trying to block the freezing snow and ice on my walk into work, I can see some of the loveliness like this blue house and randomly tiled light post.

Happy Weekend and a Reminder

Happy Weekend!

I read this recently and I keep trying to remind myself of this.

Don’t try to hold on to everything. – Life changes. Everything is not meant to stay. Remember, giving up and moving on are two very different things. When things aren’t adding up in your life, it’s time to start subtracting.

Weekend Happenings

Last weekend my son and his girlfriend went to their high school Winter Ball, aren't they the cutest couple.  I may be a bit biased but I think they are so adorable.  Once again I was reminded how shopping for girls, which I do not have, looks way more fun than shopping for boys.  Her dress is so cute, I just loved it.

 

Enjoyed a romantic dinner at Medici House. 

 

and Sunday brunch at Betty's.  It was my first time there and the food and service were both excellent.   

 

This chocolate and strawberry French toast casserole with a salted caramel sauce creamed it's going to be a "Good Morning". 

Finding Inner Strength

 

It has been a bit of a rough week or three. One of those weeks where you begin to doubt yourself and wonder how you could have been so wrong about people. A week where you realize there is a difference between being nice and being taken advantage of.

I've been wondering lately how did I get myself into this situation, perhaps I am too trusting, or perhaps I am just a fool? I don't really know. What I do know is that I am stronger than my mistakes.  I am a little wiser as each day passes.  I am not going to let anybody else break my spirit or my inner strength.  I will fight for myself and for the people who bring joy to my life.  I have an unbreakable spirit, I just to be reminded of it occasionally. 

A Few Goals

 

 

 

Lately I've been thinking about all the goals I have.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed and loose focus because there are so many things I want to get done in so many different areas of my life that it becomes hard to focus.  Today I decided to organize my my blog goals.

 

1.  Get a new blog design.

2.  Organize my other social media buttons, I don't Twitter, but I love Instagram and Pinterest.

3.  Keep an editorial calendar, which will hope me post more regularly and be more organized. 

4.  Socialize more in the blog world, maybe attend a conference this year.  Hopefully, ALT NYC.

 

In addition, my goal is to get a new computer this year, if I'm lucky. 

 





Consumerism

I found this article, "9 Intentional Ways to Challenge Consumerism in Your Life" on Becoming Minimalist via this blog and wow did it hit home with me. I don't feel like I buy a lot of stuff right now but I have in the past. I used to use shopping as a way of finding joy in my life, fulfilling some kind of need. I no longer do that. At first I stopped shopping because of lack of funds but now I think and hope it has turned into a way of life. I enjoy shopping, I actually love it, but I am very focused now on buying less/spending less and focusing on quality not quantity.

After cleaning out my house I realized we bought so much stuff and wasted so much money on things we never used or needed. I don't want to repeat that pattern. I only want to consume items that bring high value to our lives. My house, which I did love dearly, became more of a burden then a blessing. I was working sometimes up to 7 days a week just to maintain it, just to keep my head above water. I realized that I no longer wanted to live that way. I wanted to forgo the large home for a smaller space where I can have the freedom to spend time with my loved ones.  Consuming less is going to take time and practice but I what a great way to live, not caught up in a life of comparison.


1. Stop and reevaluate. Look at the life you have created. Are you finding the time, money, and energy for the things that matter most? Have your possessions become a burden on your life in any way? Slow down long enough to honestly evaluate the whole picture: your income, your mortgage, your car payment, your spending habits, your day-to-day pursuits. Are you happy? Or is there, perhaps, a better way?

2. Stop copying other people. Just because your neighbors, classmates, and friends are chasing a certain style of life does not mean you need to as well. Your life is too unique to live like everyone else. And if you think you’ll be happier by following all the latest trends in society, you are wrong. Just ask anybody who has stopped.

3. Understand your weaknesses. Recognize your trigger points. Are there certain stores that prompt unnecessary purchases in your life? Are there products, addictions, or pricing patterns (clearance sales) that prompt an automatic response from you? Maybe there are specific emotions (sadness, loneliness, grief) that give rise to mindless consumption. Identify, recognize, and understand these weaknesses. 51% of the solution can be found by simply recognizing the problem.

4. Look deep into your motivations. Advertisers play on our motivations by appealing to our desires in subtle ways. Advertisements are no longer based on communicating facts about a product. Instead, they promise adventure, reputation, esteem, joy, fulfillment, and sex. What inner-motivations are subconsciously guiding your purchases? What motivations (greed, envy) need to be rooted out? And what motivations (meaning, significance) need to find their fulfillment elsewhere?

5. Seek contribution with your life and usefulness in your purchases. To live is to consume. As contributing members of society, we are going to work and earn and purchase and consume. But we are more than consumers, we are contributors. Our presence on this earth ought to bring value to the people around us. Purchase only what you need to more effectively accomplish your unique role in this world—everything else is only a distraction. Just because you can buy something doesn’t mean you should.

6. Count the hidden cost of each purchase. Too often, when we purchase an item, we only look at the sticker price. But this is rarely the full cost. Our purchases always cost more. They require our time, energy, and focus (cleaning, organizing, maintaining, fixing, replacing, removing). They prompt worry, stress, and attachment. Henry David Thoreau said it best, ”The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

7. Test your limits. Experiment with a no-shopping challenge. You set the terms—even the world’s biggest shopper can find one experiment to test their boundaries. Go 30 days with no consumer purchases, 60 days without visiting the mall, or 120 days without buying clothes. You set the specific challenge based on your needs. You will break the cycle of shopping in the short-term and lay the groundwork for greater victory in the long-term.

8. Give more things away. Your life will feel lighter. Your heart will feel warmer. The world will be better. And you will be reminded shopping is not the answer.

9. Do more of what makes you happy. Your possessions are not making you happy. Once our basic needs have been met, the happiness found in consumerism is fleeting at best. Instead, find what it is that truly makes you happy and do more of it. I find my happiness in faith, family, friends, and contribution. Your list may differ slightly. But either way, owning a whole bunch of stuff is almost certainly not on it.

Make intentionality your highest pursuit. Not consumerism.

Happy Weekend!

 

I'm so glad the weekend is here. This week has been hell. It's been one of those weeks where everything falls apart, where you pray for everything to work out and everything that could possibly go wrong does, a week where you find out evil, greedy people really do exist, a week where you begin to wonder if living your life in an honest, moral way is really better.

I’m not going to let this week defeat me. I’m going to continue to believe that a good, kind heart that gets stomped on is better than a cold, dark heart. I’m going to continue to believe that things will work out eventually, that the “odds are in my favor”. I’m going to continue to believe that there is a wonderful future ahead for me and my children. I’m going to be smart, determined, tough and reflective as I try to overcome my latest obstacles. Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of freedom, you can taste it but you can’t quite seem to get there?

 

 

I think some of these chocolate peanut butter balls would definitely make my weekend.

Sunday Brunch

I had brunch with my girlfriend's Sunday, it was so nice to catch up and just talk about life. I often forget how important it is to make time for such things. I get so caught up in daily necessities, kids, work, cleaning, games, etc., that I forget to stop and cultivate my friendships.

It’s great that there are so many places in Buffalo doing brunch on Sunday's now; we decided to go to Shango Bistro and Wine Bar. The vibe is soulful cuisine from New Orleans, which was very good. They have a full bar where on Sundays you can also get Mimosas and Bloody Marys.

They seem to get pretty busy for brunch so I would recommend reservations. The service was great and the food was delicious. I had the shrimp with grits and it was excellent the grits were cooked just right, which can be hard to do. The stuffed French toast was excellent too, the brie cheese filling was nice and subtle, not overpowering.

I think bunch is such an idea meal.  You can relax because it's a Sunday morning, its a great way to try new resurants because it is more reasonable then dinner and you don't feel as rushed.

 

 Stuffed French Toast with brie cheese filling and a banana caramel rum sauce

 

New Orleans barbecue shrimp with bacon cheese grits and poached eggs

Around Here Lately

 

I'm sitting at work eating these little caramels thinking about all the stuff I need to be doing.  You know that feeling were you are doing one thing but wishing you were able to get other priorities done.  I thought selling the house was the hard part, it turns out cleaning out 13 years of junk/furniture/clothes is the hard part.  I will be so happy when this whole process is over. 

 

Now I am in this weird space, literally and figuratively.  I'm renting for the first time in about 16 years and honestly it is way more unsettling then I thought it would be.  I'm trying to just relax and enjoy it but when it's not your place you know it, you feel it.  I don't want to rush into something and I want to be financially responsible when I do buy a home, so I must practice patience and gratitude for the space my children and I do have. 

 

Is it smart for a single Mother of 3 busy children, who works full time, to take on a home that needs to be remodeled?  That's what I want to do. 

Goodbye 2013, Goodbye Roger

 

2013 was a year full of highs and lows.  The biggest low being that I lost one of my dearest friends.  There will forever be a part of my heart missing as I suspect there will be for anyone who knew Roger.  My children have lost a confidant, an excellent role model and a member of our family.  Death is such a hard thing to comprehend, one minute this person is a part of your life and the next they are gone forever, leaving an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that rears its ugly head at the mere mention of that person's name.  I will forever be grateful for having over 20 years with Roger but I will mourn the time that we lost.  I miss you my dear friend, everyday. 

I wanted to read this poem at Roger's funeral but I did not get the opportunity.

Wystan Hugh Auden (1907-1973)

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling in the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Words of Wisdom

                                                via

Well, things have been happening around here, I had to make a very difficult decision.  I decided to sell my home, our home.  I love this house, we built it with the intention of raising our children here, hosting holidays for our grandchildren and retiring with the neighbors we adore, but things change.  Life changes in ways you can't ever imagine and I've learned adapting and being flexible is the best approach.   Now that I am a single parent the house has just become too much for me to take care financially and physically.

I have been struggling with this decision for quite a while but something just clicked in my head and I knew it was time.  My children are sad but old enough to understand.  They see the hours I spend working just to get by and realize that at this point in our lives the home just isn't worth all of the struggles. 

I feel like this huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders, like I am discovering a new sense of freedom.  I put the house up for sale and within two weeks I had a really great offer.  I just know it was meant to be, the timing is right for us.

Now it's decision time, do I buy a house I can redo and make my own or do I buy a move in ready house?  I really want to redo a house but I need to take my time and be smart.  That is what is so awesome right now, having options. 

Inspirational Spaces

Do you ever see a space and just feel so inspired, like something in you shifts?  Since we now have access to so many pictures of spaces at our fingertips, thanks Pinterest, design has become so important and readily available.  I see pictures of spaces that I want to live in, that I want to work in and that I want to recreate for myself.  This office is one of those spaces that really moved me.  I could imagine working here, it's just so creative in a  non-distracting way. 



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Short Hairstyle Looks

Why are we woman so afraid of short hair?  I know I am.  Are we afraid of looking to masculine?  Is it because men usually prefer long hair? Are we not pretty enough to pull it off?  Do I need hair to hide behind?  There are so many woman out there who are able to wear short hair and look so beautiful and feminine.  It's only hair it will grow back and really I'm not sure my hair can look any worse then it does right now.  I'm dreaming of one of these short hair styles. 

















1  / 2  / 3  / 4  / 5 / 6 / 7

WholeHearted Living

1. Cultivating Authenticity-Let go of what people think.
2. Cultivating Self-Compassion-Let go of perfectionism.
3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit- Let go of numbing and powerlessness.
4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy-Let go of scarcity and fear of the dark.
5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith-Let go of the need for certainty.
6. Cultivating Creativity- Let go of comparison.
7. Cultivating Play and Rest-Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.
8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness-Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle.
9. Cultivating Meaningful Work- Let go of self-doubt and “supposed to.”
10. Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance- Let go of being cool and “always in control.”

 

 

Life is Short, Take Care of Yourself

Brene Brown- Aha Moment

I listen to Brene Brown all the time on YouTube and when I listen to her lectures today I had this moment where I just got things.  Things I'm doing wrong, things that cause me sadness.  I had a moment where I realized I am so afraid of being vulnerable, or being perceived as weak. 
I judge others for what I believe to be right and wrong, but there is no right or wrong.  Humans don't operate in a world of black and white, especially me.  We operate in a world of grey.  Just because someone reacts differently to a situation or loss then I do, it doesn't make me right or better, just different.

I have a tendency to be most critical of myself.  Who and what I should be, how I should act, how I should look, how intelligent I should be, etc.   None of that matters, what matters is who I really am and accepting myself and others, imperfection and all.  I need to not be afraid to let others see the real me.  I need to embrace my vulnerability and stop being afraid of living, failure is inevitable, embrace it and move on.

I'm really excited about Oprah's Life Class with Brene Brown.  I have so much to learn.  You can sign up and follow along with worksheets. 


Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.

Hello Weekend!

                                                                via La Buena Vida

I wish I was having or attending a party like this tonight, but I am not.  However, at the very least a Margarita and some guacamole may have to happen this weekend. 

Sometimes I do so much thinking my brain hurts.  Lately, I have been thinking what do I want my life to look like?  Currently, most of my time is spent in a cubicle trying to make ends meet, but hopefully I will be able to work from home soon.  I don't want to get my hopes because they are only allowing 20% of the employees to work from home, but I am a bit hopeful.  This would give me some of freedom I so desperately want to pursue the things I really love to do.  Finger crossed!!

Lune

I am loving this video, what an incredible advertisement.  It makes me want to go get a Volvo right and runaway to Iceland or Sweden. 

Ever since I started watching Mad Men I have been really thinking about what goes into advertising.  What a creative and interesting job.




via

Downsizing

I often dream of downsizing.  I'm just tired of taking care of a large house.  My current house is about 2600 square feet with a walk out basement, which isn't too large but lately it has been feeling way to big.  I just feel like all my free time is spent on yard work (about 1 acre) and house work.  Plus all my money goes into maintaining the house which leaves very little funds left over for extras/fun.  The problem is my children love this house and it is the only home they have ever known, so downsizing may be a really hard adjustment for them.   Although, children are very resilient.  Who knows, maybe someday.

Both of these houses are around 1750 square feet.  I really love the ranch and its open living space but a two story is cheaper to build and offers a 4th bedroom. 












Homes via